Facilitator role
Introduce yourself
Pick a co-facilitator to back you up.
Tell a bad joke but one that is not sexist, homophobic or otherwise offensive – the goal is not to offend others!! (Google: “Dad” jokes)
Read or delegate to read part of the participation guidelines or facilitation guidelines
Pick someone to share their “check in” and continue until everyone has had a chance to share.
Have announcements
With remaining time, revisit any particular topic or person that you think needs more time.
Thank everyone for participating and close meeting.
Do encourage others to share their feelings and ask questions that lead people to their feelings
Do not ask questions that take people out of their feelings or are unrelated or distracting.
If there are new people attending, ask one of the established members to tell their story.
These are the basics and this can be developed as needed. The goal is to keep it simple!
Facilitation Guidelines
Leadership in the group is accomplished by persons designated as “Leader” and a “Helper leader” in each and every group. The Leader’s role is to open and close the meeting and to oversee the processes that maximize the flow of communication within the group. The Helper Leader performs a “gatekeeper” role of making sure each group member has a chance to speak and that the meeting flows smoothly. The Helper Leader also records the events of the meeting so we can keep track of what is happening. If either person cannot be in attendance for any meeting it is his responsibility to assign his role to another member. It is the responsibility of the assigned person to pass on notes of the meeting and/or debrief with the person he is replacing after that meeting and before the next meeting.
Decisions in the group will follow a consensus model (See Appendix: A) as much as possible. This means that cares and concerns are brought to the group in an open manner, discussed openly and a decision is made and recorded once a consensus is reached. Consensus decision making is unfamiliar to many. It is neither a “majority rules” process nor a “dictatorship” but one that allows every member to be respectfully heard and valued. Sensitive issues may be brought forward to the Leader and Helper Leader individually for later group discussion. The Leader and Helper Leader may choose to involve the Directors. Group issues may be tabled for future consideration at any time by any person. The Directors have the right to call for a review of any decisions made that are not in keeping with the Group Guidelines or that they feel would divert from the spirit of the group Mission.
The purpose of this group is to provide open membership, low barrier and friendly groups based on fellowship with leaders who are charismatic and have good discernment.
Group Participation Guidelines
Housekeeping rules developed by group members:
Gossip Rules apply: What is said in the group stays in the group. This is to protect confidentiality and promote a respectful and safe environment for sharing
Equity in sharing: Please adjust your sharing time so that all can participate.
Participation: You are free to participate as much or as little as you like!
Respect for others: One person speaks at a time. Each person is allowed to complete his or her statement before others speak
Respect for difference: Your life is a personal experience, there is no one right way to do this. Respect for our differences is essential in this process provided it compliments or completes the group mission and unity within the group is maintained.
Feedback: This group allows for limited feedback from others but only if it is given in a respectful manner, preferably outside of the group.
Criticism: Respect the contributions of others. One of the ways we learn is from seeing things from perspectives different from our own.
Clarification: If you do not understand what another person has said, ask for clarification.
Teaching: The only thing you are an expert in is your own experience. If you feel obligated to teach or admonish others – feel free to take someone aside outside group time.
Focus: The focus of this group is honest, open and heartfelt sharing, leading to reconciliation with ourselves and others with honesty and with grace.
Remember: When you have the courage to speak from your heart about what is happening three things happen:
a) When you speak from your heart we hear from our hearts
b) When you are open and honest it gives others the courage to do the same
c) Your honesty helps us to know how to support you.
How? If this is new, baffling or confusing, START HERE with some simple “I statements”:
I find it difficult to be honest and open about my life because I think __________, I believe _____________.
Try sharing a positive report of what is playing in your life right now.
Try: _______ is happening and I feel ___________ about it and I think ____________ and I want support for____________.
This is what I am thinking __________.
I need support with _____________.
The challenge: We are socialized in the world to withhold our thoughts and feelings. Open/honest communication with yourself and with others can be a challenge. There is no intimacy in either Spiritual or human realms if there is no honesty. Give yourself the time and space to give it a try…
WHAT IS ACCOUNTABILITY?
"Face to face. . ." Being accountable to someone means you sit face to face, look that person in the eye and honestly, openly discuss what is going on in your life.
"Shoulder to Shoulder. . ." Accountability means standing by your brother through thick and thin. One is not above the other; both are equal.
"We'll Strengthen each other. . ." Through vital relationships, we become stronger, as we help each other through struggles, temptations and shortfalls, and as we encourage one another towards growth.
ACCOUNTABILITY IS. . .
People getting together to share their lives.
Getting to know each other beyond the casual and superficial; beyond "sports and the weather."
Brothers allowing themselves to be challenged, and held to a higher standard than the world would dictate.
Brother’s being honest with each other about their struggles and shortfalls.
Supporting each other.
Brothers reaching their full potential.
WHY ACCOUNTABILITY?
A couple of factors that keep us from developing close relationships are pride and fear. When we get into "vital" relationships”, it will ultimately require us to be vulnerable and transparent, and to admit that we have faults and problems and that can be quite uncomfortable for most people.
One of the great benefits of accountability is that you will look at your life more closely than ever before. It will raise your awareness of things that, before, you did not think twice about. Eventually, your actions and behavior will change, as you share your struggles with others you will often be relieved to discover you are not the only one who struggles in a certain area, and together you can learn to overcome it.
The first step is to just spend some time together.
Some adjustments in expectations and styles may have to be made.
"Keep on loving each other as brothers." This will build the foundation and strengthen bonds.
Enjoy the journey!
Do not get discouraged if you feel like you are not progressing quickly enough.
Follow up on things that were shared previously.